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The Plot
Chris Awwad is turning 40, and instead of therapy he chose the Aegean. He is a working physician — board-certified, highly reviewed — about to spend eleven days making decisions no medical board would co-sign. Thirteen of us are going with him: partly out of love, mostly to watch.
Amsterdam first, for WorldPride — a city famous for tolerance, about to have it tested. Then Mykonos, an island that has absorbed every kind of sinner since antiquity and still isn't ready. Book the PTO. Practice saying "family emergency" in the mirror. It's not technically a lie.
The Itinerary
All times local — Amsterdam, then Greece.
Miss a pink row and the group chat writes your obituary.
The Guide
Amsterdam
WorldPride Survival
The festival: WorldPride Amsterdam runs July 25 – Aug 8. We land in week one, while the city still has its voice.
Canal Parade — Sat Aug 1: the parade sails the Prinsengracht from Westerdok to the Amstel, 12:00–18:00. We watch from Luiz's boat. Several hundred thousand people line the canals and the mobile network will choke.
If we get separated
Assume no texts get through. Don't circle the canals looking for each other — go back to your hotel and regroup there, or release yourself to the city and swap stories at breakfast. Text the chat when you land somewhere safe.
Getting around
Walk or tram. Tap your credit card on the tram readers — OVpay, no ticket needed. Do not rent bikes during Pride weekend unless you hate yourself sober, which is a different thing than hating yourself drunk.
Cash reality check
Amsterdam is aggressively card-first. Plenty of bars and shops are literally cash-free, and Amex is hit-or-miss. Tap-to-pay Visa/MC handles 95% of your life here.
Mykonos
How a Beach Club Day Works
For the first-timers: it's not "going to the beach," it's a residency. Four beats.
Bring: SPF 50, sunglasses, a card, €20–40 cash for tips, one cover-up that serves. The tab splits evenly — Rule #3, no itemizing.
Island Intel
Cash: clubs and restaurants take cards; taxis, gyros, and tips want cash. Land with €200–300. Bank-attached ATMs only — the freestanding Euronet machines charge a markup that qualifies as robbery.
Getting around: sprinter vans are organized for every group outing — be in the lobby on time and it's handled. Miss the van and you're arranging your own ride: easy, just pricier. WhatsApp Royal Luxury Transport (+30 694 224 3433) with 30 minutes' notice — they're great. Street-hailing a taxi here is a prayer, not a plan.
Water: do not drink Mykonos tap water — bottled only (though, speaking personally, it's fine to douche with). Amsterdam tap is excellent — let the contrast confuse you.
Terrain: Chora's streets are polished marble. Heels are a medical event, and Chris is only one doctor.
Wind: the meltemi is real, especially at Ftelia. Anything not weighted down becomes a kite.
A Note on Greek Wine
We love Greece. We do not love Greek wine. It will be the cheapest thing on the list, and there is a reason — much of it tastes like a pine tree going through a divorce.
Yes, there are gems (a Santorini Assyrtiko can be lovely, allegedly). But this is a vacation, not a treasure hunt, and we prefer a sure thing: order the French or Italian. Every trip, someone orders the local bottle to be cultured. Every trip, they take one sip and go quiet in a way we all understand.
Try it once if you must. We need the content.
The Venues
Mykonos TownJackie O' Beach Club
Beach · Tue 8/4 + Fri 8/7THE gay institution of Mykonos, perched over Super Paradise Bay. Pool, restaurant, bar, and a sunset drag show that qualifies as a religious service. Expect to feel genetically inferior and spiritually complete within the same hour.
Alemagou
Beach · Thu 8/6 (b-day)The antidote. Boho beach bar on Ftelia in the island's north — driftwood, bamboo, no scene, no performing. The beach is actually good: you can swim, lie in the sand, and exist. The reset before the birthday dinner. Heads up: Ftelia catches the meltemi, so anything unsecured becomes a kite.
Kalita
Dinner · Mon 8/3, 8 PMThe welcome dinner. Modern Greek in a candlelit garden on Kalogera street — elegant, calm, civilized, chosen because you'll be running on 3 hours of sleep and a 6:10 AM flight. The only reservation this week at a normal-human hour. Eat, drink wine, relearn each other's names.
Nōema
Dinner · Tue 8/4, 11:30 PMModern Greek with a hidden courtyard in the heart of Town. Gorgeous, moody, and yes — dinner is at 11:30 PM. The menu is shareable because by this point your fine motor skills are decorative. Order for the table, confess something, blame the rosé.
Byblos
Birthday · Thu 8/6, 10 PMTHE birthday dinner. Japanese-Peruvian fusion in a garden in Town — sounds like it shouldn't work, absolutely does. Dangerous cocktails, open until 3 AM, because this is not a meal, it's an event with a body count. Dress code forthcoming; the vibe is "financially irresponsible and incredible."
Jackie O' Town Bar
Late night · most nightsThe after-dinner default, on the Old Port waterfront. Drag shows, dancing, and a crowd that doesn't materialize until 1 AM — Mykonos respects a dramatic entrance. When someone says "one more drink," this is where that lie happens.
Rochari Hotel
Home base · Aug 3–8Family-run since 1976, up the hill from the old port with a pool and views over Town. Everything this week starts and ends at this lobby — memorize the walk home (10 minutes, uphill, humbling at 3 AM).
Before You Go
Flights
Into Amsterdam: arrive Thursday July 30 (or Friday the 31st if you're brave, chaotic, or dead inside).
Amsterdam → Mykonos: Monday Aug 3, Transavia direct, 6:10 AM — the Hate Crime Express. Van leaves the lobby at 3:00 AM. Connecting flights exist later in the day. Enjoy Belarus.
Home: fly out of Mykonos (JMK) Saturday Aug 8.
Transavia is a low-cost carrier. Only a small personal item is free. Pre-buy your bag online now — the same bag at the gate costs €45+, and the 4:30 AM check-in counter is not a negotiation-friendly environment.
Phones & Data
Ten days breaks the carrier day-pass math. Do not pay it.
| Option | Cost (10 days) | Verdict |
|---|---|---|
| Verizon/AT&T day pass ($12/day) | $120 | No. |
| eSIM: Airalo / Ubigi / Saily (EU regional, ~10GB) | $20–26 | Do this |
| Local SIM at Schiphol (Lebara/KPN) | ~€20–30 | Fine — EU roaming covers Greece |
Install the eSIM before you fly. Keep iMessage/WhatsApp on your US number. Buying a physical SIM at the airport? Confirm EU roaming is on (it is by law — check the data cap).
Best for Greece: the Cosmote Travellers eSIM — Cosmote has the strongest island coverage, and the beach clubs sit in exactly the coves where the weak networks die.
Already have international roaming on Verizon/AT&T/T-Mobile? Read the fine print: most plans throttle to unusable speeds after ~3–5GB. Three gigs does not survive a week of Mykonos grid refreshes, you Grindr pigs.
Money
Even splits, always (Rule #3). We run a group Tricount/Splitwise — link in the WhatsApp. Pay in, shut up, nobody itemizes a side salad.
Cash: €200–300 out of a real bank ATM (Geldmaat in NL). Never Euronet. When any terminal offers to charge you in USD, decline — "dynamic currency conversion" is a 5–12% tip to a machine.
Tipping: Netherlands — service included; round up, or 5–10% for great service. Greece — 5–10% at restaurants, cash on the table; round up taxis. Then remember Rule #8 and tip like you're buying their silence, because you are.
Power
Both countries: Type C/F plugs, 230V. Your phone and laptop are dual-voltage — a plug adapter is all you need (bring two, you'll lose one). Only single-voltage hair tools need a converter; buy a dual-voltage tool instead of starting a hotel fire.
Buy: Wirecutter's pick · their upgrade pick · also solid: Saunorch universal, Ceptics EU set.
Passports & Entry
US passport: no visa needed. ETIAS is not required for this trip — it starts in late 2026.
Passport check, today: valid at least 3 months past Aug 8. Six is safer.
EES biometric registration is active: photo and fingerprints on your first EU entry. Allow extra time at Schiphol passport control — don't book a tight connection.
Travel insurance: get a policy that covers medical. Yes, Chris is a doctor. He will also be the patient.
Packing — High Drama, Low Fabric
The Essentials (do these first)
- Passport (3+ months validity past Aug 8) + a photo of it in your camera roll
- Plug adapter ×2 + a power bank — long days, dead phones, no excuses
- eSIM installed before you fly (see Phones & Data)
- SPF 50 and aloe — the Aegean sun is personal
- The pharmacy: Advil, Imodium, electrolytes (Pedialyte/LMNT), and Dramamine for the yacht
- Earplugs + eye mask — Chora is loud at 4 AM, and so are we
Amsterdam (60s–low 70s, rain likely)
- One waterproof layer that still serves
- Shoes that survive 30,000 steps and one canal-adjacent nap
- Something warm for canal nights — it's not tropical
- Pride fits
Mykonos (high 80s, windy)
- Two+ swimsuits, sandals that grip marble, NO stilettos
- Linen that wrinkles artistically; a cover-up that serves
- Massive dark sunglasses (structural barrier between soul and public)
- Boat-day fit: slutty sea witch, but with RANGE
- Birthday dinner fit: financially irresponsible and incredible
Leave at JFK: laptop, inhibitions, sensible beige shorts. They have no power here.
The Lore
You're not just going to a parade and a beach.
Know what you're standing on.
Amsterdam 101
The entire city is a 17th-century engineering flex: the canal ring was dug during the Golden Age, when Amsterdam was briefly the richest city on earth, and it's all built on millions of wooden piles driven into swamp. Houses were taxed on canal frontage, which is why they're absurdly narrow — and why they lean forward, with hooks at the top: furniture goes up by rope, not stairs. The lean is intentional. The city has been tipsy for 400 years; you'll fit in.
The deeper current: Amsterdam's whole identity runs on gedogen — pragmatic tolerance. For centuries it was where Europe's persecuted (Huguenots, Jews, freethinkers, and eventually us) went to exist in peace. The party you're attending is the loudest expression of a very old civic principle.
Why Pride Here Hits Different
The Netherlands has receipts. The COC, founded in Amsterdam in 1946, is the oldest LGBTQ organization still operating anywhere in the world — it was meeting when being gay was still criminalized across most of the planet. The Homomonument at Westermarkt (1987) was the world's first memorial to persecuted LGBTQ people — worth standing on for a minute between festivities. And on April 1, 2001, Amsterdam's city hall hosted the first legal same-sex weddings in human history.
The Canal Parade has run since 1996 and is the only major pride parade on water — 80 boats, hundreds of thousands on the banks. This year it's WorldPride, and you will be ON one of those boats, floating through the middle of the argument this city won first. Reguliersdwarsstraat is the historic gay street for afters, if you have anything left.
Mykonos 101
Per myth, the granite boulders scattered across the island are the petrified corpses of giants Hercules slew; the island is named for Mykons, a descendant of Apollo. Next door sits Delos, birthplace of Apollo and Artemis and one of the holiest (and richest) sites of the ancient world — sleepy Mykonos was basically its supply island for centuries.
The look you came for has function under it: the whitewash is lime-based, historically slapped on as a disinfectant. The cube houses and maze alleys of Chora were designed to confuse pirates and break the wind. The 16th-century windmills ground grain for passing ships, and Little Venice is a row of 18th-century sea captains' houses whose water-level doors were, per island legend, extremely convenient for smuggling.
The town mascot is a pelican named Petros, a tradition running since a fisherman nursed an injured bird back to health in the 1950s. There is always a Petros. Do not fight the pelican; he outranks you.
Jackie O. & the Jet Set
Archaeologists digging up Delos put Mykonos on the map in the late 1800s; artists and the bohemian set followed in the 1930s. But the island went supernova when Jacqueline Kennedy visited in the early '60s and Greece became her refuge — especially after she married shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis in 1968 and the world's cameras followed her through the Aegean. Grace Kelly, Bardot, and every yacht in the Mediterranean followed.
The club's name carries that lineage: Jackie O' as the patron saint of enormous sunglasses and not explaining yourself — which, per Rule #5, is also the official pose of this trip. Wear the big glasses. Say nothing. Channel her.
How Mykonos Got Gay
In the '70s, while most of the world still required gay people to be discreet or invisible, Mykonos didn't ask. Pierro's, opened in 1973 in the heart of Chora, became one of Europe's first openly gay bars and the beating heart of the island's nightlife for three decades. When authorities temporarily shut it in 1979 for the crime of having gay customers, the community protested until it reopened. Super Paradise — where Jackie O' Beach now sits — became the legendary gay beach in the same era.
Fifty years on, Mykonos isn't a "gay-friendly destination" — it's a load-bearing pillar of gay Europe. When you're screaming at the drag show above Super Paradise Bay, you're participating in a half-century-old sacrament. Behave accordingly, which is to say: barely.
FAQ + Rules
What flights should I book? ›
NYC → Amsterdam arriving Thu July 30 (or Fri the 31st if you're brave, chaotic, or dead inside). Amsterdam → Mykonos: Mon Aug 3, Transavia direct, 6:10 AM — or connect later in the day. Fly home from Mykonos (JMK) Sat Aug 8, unless you've tricked a shipping heir into marriage or need to disappear into the hills.
Skipping Amsterdam? Fine — land at JMK by early evening Monday Aug 3. The welcome dinner is at 8 and it waits for no one.
What hotels should I book? ›
Amsterdam (Jul 30–Aug 3): Chris is at Hotel Estheréa; book anything nearby at your price point. Mykonos (Aug 3–8): the Rochari Hotel — and Chris is paying. Do not look for the logic; there isn't any. Show up looking iconic and prepared to live a lifestyle you cannot sustain.
What's the budget situation? ›
Flights → you. Amsterdam hotel → you. Mykonos hotel → Chris. Yacht day + Pride boat → already handled. Meals, drinks, taxis, emotional damages → split evenly.
What to actually budget (beyond flights + Amsterdam hotel): figure roughly €150–250/day in Mykonos — beach club days with lunch and drinks commonly run €100–150+/person, late dinners €60–120/person, plus taxis and tips. Amsterdam days are cheaper unless you make them not. Whole-trip shared spend: roughly €1,200–1,800. Ranges, not promises — see Rule #3.
What's the dress code? ›
Theme nights are coming (watch the WhatsApp). Baseline: assume any moment could be photographed for a "Hot Gays in Mykonos" calendar. Prepare accordingly.
Are gifts allowed? ›
Your presence, your chaos, and your commitment to terrible choices are the only tribute required. No candles. No duty-free wine. If you must contribute something: high-value entertainment, a scandal, or bail money. (Also see The Gift — group thing, shh.)
Can I bring a plus one? ›
No. This is a carefully curated ecosystem of specific energies, not a wedding. Sole exception: temporary diplomatic visas for international lovers named Luca or Nikos with a strong jawline, no opinions, and a boat license.
Can I arrive late or leave early? ›
Technically yes — you're an adult. But understand the social tax: in your absence you are content. We will rewrite your history, and by the time you defend yourself the rumors will be facts.
What if I don't drink? ›
We support a sober icon — the ambient chaos is intoxicating enough, and someone needs to document the lawsuits. You'll be the historian of our decline. Our condolences and our gratitude.
On money: shared tabs still split evenly by default, but flag it beforehand and we'll carve the wine-heavy bills sensibly. Nobody performs forensic accounting over three olives; nobody makes the sober guy subsidize a rosé genocide either.
Do I need a power adapter or converter? ›
Adapter yes, converter no. Both countries use Type C/F plugs at 230V. Phones/laptops are dual-voltage — any universal adapter works, and the exact picks are linked in Before You Go → Power. Only single-voltage hair tools need a converter; just buy a dual-voltage tool instead.
How do the Mykonos vans work? ›
Sprinter vans are booked for every group outing — be in the lobby at the call time and you're covered. Airport transfers are handled too: Rochari runs them both ways, scheduled around your flights (send flight info when asked).
Miss the van? You're arranging your own ride — easy, just pricier, and it's on you. WhatsApp Royal Luxury Transport (+30 694 224 3433) with 30 minutes' notice.
How do I get euros? Do I even need cash? ›
Amsterdam: barely — it's card-first and many places are cash-free (Amex is spotty). Mykonos: yes — taxis, gyros, tips. Pull €200–300 from a bank ATM (Geldmaat in NL, bank-attached in Greece). Never use Euronet machines, and always decline "pay in USD" at terminals.
What do I do about phone data? ›
Get a regional EU eSIM before you fly — Airalo, Ubigi, or Saily, ~$20–26 for 10GB/30 days. For Greece specifically, the Cosmote Travellers eSIM is the pick — strongest island coverage. Your carrier's $12/day pass would cost $120 for this trip.
Have international roaming on Verizon/AT&T/T-Mobile? Most plans throttle after ~3–5GB — not enough for a week of Mykonos grid refreshes, you Grindr pigs. Bring a real eSIM.
What's tipping culture? ›
Netherlands: service included — round up, 5–10% for great service. Greece: 5–10% at restaurants, cash on the table; round up taxis. Then apply Rule #8 and tip aggressively anyway. We are loud. Buy their silence.
Do I need a visa? Is my passport fine? ›
No visa for US passports. ETIAS is not required for this trip (it starts late 2026). Your passport must be valid 3+ months past Aug 8 — check TODAY. EES biometric registration is active: photo + fingerprints at first EU entry, so allow extra time at passport control.
Can I drink the tap water? ›
Amsterdam: yes, it's excellent. Mykonos: no — bottled only, even for teeth if you're delicate. Hydration is a battle you are fighting for your life either way.
Do I need travel insurance? ›
Yes — medical coverage minimum. US health insurance generally doesn't work in Europe. Chris is a doctor, but Chris will also be the primary patient. 112 is the emergency number in both countries.
How does the Pride boat work? ›
Sat Aug 1, 11 AM–4 PM, on Luiz's boat — already paid, you're on the list. Beer, wine, soft drinks, water, and a toilet (crucial) onboard. The Canal Parade sails 12–6; we watch from the water like royalty. Meet point drops in the WhatsApp.
1. If you're going to be late, be devastating ›
Time is a construct; my patience is finite. Stroll in 45 minutes late looking like a runway or a high-speed chase — nothing in between.
The Rule: Late and ugly = left behind. Late and serving = forgiven after a humiliating public apology.
2. Illiteracy is not a personality trait ›
We built a website. We formatted the itinerary. Ask "wait, what time is the flight?" and the group is legally authorized to unplug your life support.
The Rule: Read the syllabus or drop the class.
3. Financial Marxism ›
Checks split evenly. Always. No itemizing, no calculators, no "but I only had a side salad and three ice cubes." You're paying for the vibe, the view, and the privilege of not being hated by your friends.
The Rule: It's Communism, but gay.
4. This is a dictatorship, not a democracy ›
You may opt out of an event to sleep. You may not reorganize a dinner for 12 because of a TikTok about a hidden gem.
The Rule: Coup attempts will be crushed with extreme prejudice.
5. Your hangover is boring ›
You poisoned yourself. You are the architect of your own destruction. Suffer silently behind sunglasses like a widow at a funeral.
The Rule: Reapply SPF and dissociate quietly.
6. Main character syndrome (remission phase) ›
You're a star — not the only star. Not every dinner needs your 18-minute monologue about the Berlin DJ who ghosted you in 2018.
The Rule: Know your billing. Some nights you're "Background Gay #4."
7. If you're going to have a breakdown, win an Oscar ›
We demand quality drama: tears in the ocean, storming off in a caftan while the wind catches your fabric.
The Rule: If Meryl wouldn't do it, neither should you.
8. Reparations for our volume ›
We are the loudest table in the restaurant. Balance the karmic scales with cold, hard cash.
The Rule: Tip aggressively. Buy their silence.
9. Document the crime, don't live in the evidence ›
Take the photo, get the angle, then put the phone away. Refresh story views all sunset and your iPhone goes in the Aegean.
The Rule: Be present, or be blocked.
SOS
The Chain of Command
Show the Driver
If It's Really Bad
Separated at the Parade?
The network will be jammed — assume no texts get through. Don't circle the canals: go back to your hotel and regroup there, or release yourself to the city and compare notes at breakfast. If you're about to do something stupid, text the chat FIRST, not after.
The Cast
Bios loading…
Headshots, government names, and one unflattering fact per person. Know who you're doing crimes with. Coming soon.
The Gift
Classified.
Group gift details, contribution link, and deadline land here. If your name is Chris Awwad, close this tab. We know your IP.
No dignity was preserved in the making of this birthday · Rated M for Mess
Last updated July 11, 2026